Step Three in Mastering Relationships: Affection

What a great gift; to heal others just by caring!  -Bob Trask

 Those searching for mates and those in sales have both realized that Acceptance and Respect can open even the toughest minds. And as we move to our third step: Affection, we must remember that Acceptance and Respect remain the platform upon which good relationships are built.

Affection is the lifeblood that sustains us spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically and which we need a regular basis. When people don’t get their daily allotment of affection, parts of them begin to die, not only in their spirits, but in their bodies as well. Science has shown that cancer occurs more frequently in those who lack consistent affection, even if it is from a pet.

Babies are so sweet and dear that we cannot resist pouring our affection into them, which is Nature’s plan. As they learn to nurse for milk, they are also learning to exchange Affection. The infant lays in mom’s arms, suckling and holding eye contact with her and a lot more is being exchanged than milk. Dad snuggles his baby, holding eye contact, and their bonding takes place. By this process of Affection, we are baptizing this newborn into our human family.

It sometimes seems difficult to find affection because people are too busy or focused elsewhere. Yet Affection can break that spell and bring those folks into harmony with us. If it is sincere, it may be done safely in many ways. Example: “Hey is that a new blouse? It matches your eyes perfectly!” or, “I really like the way you dealt with Sam earlier, you’re a kind person.” or, “You remind me of a cousin I haven’t seen in years, but who I really love.” or, “I’ll bet you were a popular kid in school!” or “For some reason, people really seem to like you!” I could go on but you get the message; we just reach into someone’s heart and light a candle. Along with Acceptance and Respect, this is the next step to creating deep, lasting friendships. Just let others know their value to you, not because of their stations in life, but because they are unique and special persons.

People often withhold Affection because they fear it might make them seem weak- which is nonsense, isn’t it? Many of history’s most affectionate people were also the most powerful and influential: Mother Teresa and Gandhi uplifted the entire human family by their expressions of compassion and Affection for others.

Next week we will wrap up this Relationship Mastery Series with Support. You won’t want to miss it.

*Each step to the ARAS Plan for building splendid relationships is available in my book Romancing The Soul, Your Personal Guide to Living Free. This beautifully designed, first edition hardback (only 1000 printed) will make a valuable and cherished gift. You can find it here:
http://www.amazon.com/Romancing-Personal-Guide-Living-Hardcover/dp/0961216441/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260238802&sr=1-2

A bit of humor for you:

    Native Americans in a remote tribe asked their new chief about the weather for the coming winter.

Being a modern man who had never learned the old secrets. He looked for signs in the forest and in the sky but just could not see what the winter was going to be like.

    To be on the safe side, he told his tribe the winter was going to be cold and that they should collect a lot of firewood.

    After several days, he got an idea. He called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'

   'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist responded.

   The chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood.

    A week later, he again called the National Weather Service. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'

   'Yes,' the meteorologist replied, 'it's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'

   The chief turned to his people and asked that they collect even more firewood.

   Yet the autumn was so mild, he had doubts so two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. “How sure are you that that the winter is going to be very cold?'

   'There is no doubt,' the man replied. 'It looks to be one of the coldest winters we've seen.'

   'Well, how can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

   “Because Indians are really collecting a lot of  firewood!" the weatherman replied.


• Do you have a humorous bit you'd like to share? please send it to me!

This Week’s Hero:

Mother Teresa dedicated her life to the poor in the slums of Calcutta. nursing the sick, helping people die with Grace, holding open air schools for slum children and doing it all without funds. She had become a participant in the poverty around her. The word of her incredible love and service influenced others to join her and eventually volunteers and donations came in. She founded The Society of Missionaries which spread throughout Europe, Asia, Africa and North and South America and Australia, providing help for the poorest of the poor, aid for shut-ins, alcoholics, homeless, and AIDS sufferers and relief in the wake of floods, epidemics, and famine.

Yet there is an heroic side of Mother Teresa that only became known after her death. Hidden from all eyes, even those closest to her, was a constant deep and painful sense of being separated from God and even rejected by Him. This feeling, which she called her “darkness”, continued to torment her until the end of her life. Here is the heroic part: she used her fear and despair as tools to help her participate in, and more fully understand the desolation of the poor. Despite her “darkness” and severe health problems, our Hero of The Week worked every day to alleviate the sufferings of the poor.

• If you know of  a hero, please tell me his or her story!