“Courage is mastery of fear - not absence of fear”
Mark Twain
Many have asked if my friend made it to shore. Okay then, here’s the rest of the story:
He struck out toward the shore, a mile away, swimming as well as he could. He was cold, colder than he’d ever been before. The water dragged at his clothes, making every stroke feel like swimming through putty. After a while he reached a point of exhaustion and numbness that signaled the end and he knew he could not go on. Yet somehow he made the decision to die while swimming, not while lying idle. So he did go on and in so doing found a new level of stamina he’d never known before. He felt his body doing a fair if somewhat shaky job of moving him steadily forward. His mind then went to other things, a fireplace, his kids, and how he would tell them his story. He did not hear the Coast Guard helicopter until it was right over him.
What I learned from his story was not to associate too deeply with any problem because often there is no logical way out of it and my mind can then go into despair. When we spend too much time thinking about or wrestling with our problems we can get too close to them, begin to identify with them so acutely we become them. In other words, if I think a lot about my pain, I begin to think I am my pain; that we two are inseparable. My suffering then hangs over me like a shroud and screens away any joy, any ray of light around me and I see only anguish. But I am not my pain; I can choose to look beyond the shroud and identify instead with joy, with laughter, with my freedom.
Hey, I know it’s not easy, this is the game of life, and the odds often feel like they are against us; that’s what makes it exciting. And if we look back at all those times of extreme anxiety and fear; times we were sure we couldn’t make it through the dark tunnels; we realize that we always had it made.
There is only one exception to what I say about our ability to choose joy. It is the worst by far, hands down: -The eternal, universal champion of all suffering for all time is severe clinical depression. It is so because it captures not only ones thoughts, but the mind itself which, altered by a struggling brain, will not allow awareness of anything but being hopelessly lost in an endless darkness. The neurotransmitters in the brain have gone awry then and need to be rerouted by an antidepressant so we again feel hope and see Light.
My friend was swimming, not only to save his life, but also to fully live it, however short it would be. He refused to be a victim. Until I make that same choice, there’s no chance of a helicopter ever finding me.
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A Bit of Humor for You
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “Oh, what is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... the one that's red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that's the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
This Week’s Hero
There are so many heroes from the Tucson massacre. Yet I feel compelled to choose one; not to elevate his courage above that of others, but because his story has not been as widely told and also because his bravery so fittingly represents that of the others.
Ronald Barber was standing near Ms. Giffords when he was shot twice and Judge John M. Roll died while helping save his life. According to a surveillance video, now in the hands of the FBI, John Roll disregarded his own safety and immediately went to help Mr. Barber. In the video, with the gunman only three feet away, he guided the wounded Mr. Barber to the ground, then shielding him with his body by literally lying on top of him with his back exposed he tried to move Mr. Barber out of danger, pushing with his right hand and guiding Mr. Barber with his left. The gunman saw and shot him in the back, killing him.
Thankfully, Mr. Barber has now left the hospital and is recovering.
John Roll proved that there is no greater gift one can give than to lay down his life for his brother. It is with heavy yet grateful hearts that we celebrate his wonderful heroism.
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